You’re probably not surprised to find out that my husband played in a band (mainly rhythm guitar, but he also plays bass and piano). And, he’s recorded his own CD of original songs called Preferred Risk. Over the last few days, I’ve heard one of his songs –- called “Words” –- playing in a loop in my head. The “hook” or catch phrase is this:

Words that are written down –
Meanings realized –
Words placed together
Change our lives.

What could be more true? Think of all the wonderful words that have altered the course of your life: “I do.” “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” or “It’s twins!” or “You won!” or “I have your back.” Or “You’ll be attending (your favorite school’s name here) this fall!” or “I love you.” These words lift us up for years to come.

John Lennon placed his heart’s longing and his life’s purpose in the hands of words. He said quite honestly, “Half of what I say in meaningless. But I say it just to reach you, Julia.” In that simple, honest line he offered up, unabashedly, his life’s mission statement. And throughout his years here, John did just that. He used words to try to reach the “girl in a million, my friend,” the lovely Julia Lennon.

Paul McCartney, likewise, tried endlessly to explain to Jane Asher through his lyrics that he needed her to relinquish her career and “be with him” if they were to be happy. In one song after another (increasingly argumentative), he pled his case via “What You’re Doing,” “I’m Looking Through You,” “We Can Work it Out,” “You Won’t See Me,” and even “Here, There, and Everywhere.” Paul kept saying in plaintive words: “I need you to give up what you’re doing and be there for me.” He phrased it in every version possible.

Why? Because Paul knew that words have great appeal, great power. American poet Carl Sandburg realized that when he wrote this simple but unforgettable poem, “Primer Lesson.”

Look out how you use proud words.
When you let proud words go, it is not easy to call them back.
They wear long boots, hard boots; they walk off proud; they can’t hear you calling–
Look out how you use proud words.

No one understood this simple or “primer” lesson better than John Lennon. When his long and complicated discussion with journalist Maureen Cleave ended up being dissected, lifted out of context, and placed on the cover of Datebook magazine, John discovered how quickly the things we say and write can get away from us…can stalk off to live sordid lives of their own without our being able to “call them back.” Over and over and over on the 1966 North American Tour, in press conference after press conference, John apologized for his words about The Beatles being “more popular than Jesus.” But it was to no avail. His words had taken on a life of their own.

I’m a news junkie, and last night as I was listening to a rehashing of the day’s events, I decided that about 80 percent of our news items center on things that people have said: words or phrases about someone else, to someone else, about another country, agency, political candidate, or alleged crime for which they are being investigated. We even have a term for this sort of thing; we call it “a sound byte.” Words dominate our politics as well as our private lives.

Because society is inexorably “tied at the hip” (or “tied at the hype,” as you choose) to Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and every other social media “flava of the month,” words have become dangerous weapons hurled at others on the spur of the moment.

We Tweet without censure. We blast someone on Facebook. We “Like” or “Dislike” and leave nasty comments for one another at will. We use words to wound, accuse, blame, and tear down. Without any concrete evidence, we sling vile accusations that have zero basis in fact. And we think that is acceptable. It’s not.

John and Paul would have been the first to warn us all that words, once spoken (or written) cannot be retrieved. Indeed, Paul eloquently sang, “Her words (and kindness) linger on when she no longer needs you.”

Images fade. Over time, facts blur. But the words that someone speaks to us and about us linger on. We remember.

What does Paul McCartney remember about his Mother Mary? He remembers her words: “Let it be.”

What does John Lennon say will set you free? “The Word.”

What immediately ties you to George Harrison? A single word. “Something.”

And without Ringo’s words (for example, “Tomorrow Never Knows”) Beatles history would have been quite different.

In Liverpool, one of my favorite spots is the “bombed out church” now turned into a garden of reflection in the heart of the city. Here, the violence of war has been turned into a retreat of peace. The wreckage of a bomb’s tragic destruction is daily being transformed into beauty.

But the wreckage of words will not reverse itself as easily. Children are “crippled inside” for a lifetime by the words we say. Families are torn apart. Friendships are ended with no hope of reparation. Marriages are injured. Look out how you use words. They have a dark magic all their own. And, my friends, it is large and in charge.

Jude Southerland Kessler is the author of the John Lennon Series: www.johnlennonseries.com

Jude is represented by 910 Public Relations — @910PubRel on Twitter and 910 Public Relations on Facebook.

I’ve used the photo at left a zillion times — in press releases, in articles, on various websites. It is, in fact, the very shot on the 2016 (and ooooh so cool!) New York Fest for Beatles Fans poster! But the version I submitted to Mark, Carol, and Michelle Lapidos (the one you see above) is the cropped version. And, it doesn’t tell the whole story.

About a week ago, I came upon the original photo -– the unedited version taken about 2 1/2 years ago at a party in my hometown. And below is what I saw:

In the immediate background, just over my shoulder, you can see my mom. She’s right behind me…there all the time. I never knew.

This full picture set me to thinking…who is in the background now? Whom am I allowing to fade into the shadows, unnoticed, while I concentrate on things that are (arguably) “more important?” Whom am I overlooking –- and whom are you overlooking -– as we race around madly, smiling for the camera?

Most people spend a minimum of eight hours a day at work. For The Beatles, especially in 1964-1966, that was a laughable minimum. They spent a good 10 hours a day filming, interviewing, starring on TV and radio shows, recording, mixing, touring, composing, editing, and taking photographs.

And for John –- who also wrote, illustrated, edited, and promoted two books of poetry and prose during that time frame (at night, at home) — the workload was far greater. 12 hours a day, some days. Pressured.

And so, Cynthia slipped into the shadows. And so did Mimi. And so did his sisters, Jacqui and Ju. And even little Julian. Just over John’s shoulder, in a dimmer light, they waited. And waited and waited and waited.

The questions John had to answer and the questions posed to us all are… “Is it worth the sacrifice?” “Are our priorities in order?” Or (to phrase it quaintly, as Ben Franklin once did), “Are we paying too much for the whistle?”

Ever since I saw that unedited photo of my mom and me, I’ve begun noticing other photos: photos tacked to cubicles; photos taped to work stations of nurses, accountants and car salesmen; photos of people we rarely see; photos of people who get one-to-three hours a night, at best, or a brief weekend reunion.

“You say ‘Goodbye,’

But I say, ‘Hello!…Hello! Hello!’

I don’t know why you say, ‘Goodbye.’

I say, ‘Hello!’”

Is that the familiar chorus of our daughters and our sons? Is that the refrain of our aging mums or dads, living alone? Is that the unvoiced appeal of our patient husbands or lonely wives? Is that the theme song of those who wait for us to come home?

Had I known –- when that photograph of me was taken -– that only six months later, my mom would be gone, I would have stopped and noticed. I would have spent more time, asked more questions, learned more, shared more, appreciated more. I hardly think I would have said:

“You say stop, but I say

‘Go, go, go!!!!’”

I think I would have changed my tune.

We are all incredibly busy. Every day we are challenged to press on. But as we “go, go, go,” precious time is slipping away: Time to notice. Time to care. Time to tell them. Time to share.

Is it time to readjust the focus? I think it just might be.

Jude Southerland Kessler is the author of the John Lennon Series: www.johnlennonseries.com

Jude is represented by 910 Public Relations — @910PubRel on Twitter and 910 Public Relations on Facebook.

Y’ better slow down…

Baby, now y’er movin’ way too fast!

It happens every year at this time. The tall, exotic, Japanese Magnolia trees in my neighborhood imitate Mother Superior…and jump the gun.

A few warm Louisiana days and nights seduce the silly trees, and right in the middle of January (or at the beginning of February), they explode into mad, delicate, pink blossoms.

“Noooooooo!” I scream at them through the picture window. “Noooo, it’s only February! It’s going to get brutally cold again! Any minute now!”

And sure enough, the frost and ice rush in unannounced. And the delicate magnolias are violently frozen, their lovely premature blossoms seared – falling wilted to the ground, a spectacle of poor planning.

You see, timing matters.

Brian Epstein knew this. He refused to let The Beatles set foot in America until they owned a Number One record. In January 1964, when the boys trekked off to Paris with an excursion to America only a few weeks away, Brian was outside his comfort zone. He was truly gambling. Capitol Records had assured him the Number One slot would be The Beatles’, and he believed the Powers-That-Be. But scheduling the U.S. trip ahead of his target goal was a huge risk. Everything hinged on that one phenomenon. Without the Number One under their caps, Brian knew that The Beatles could flop in America, just as Cliff Richard had done when he “crossed the pond.”

Well, you know the familiar story. While in Paris, The Beatles and Brian received that fortuitous phone call from Louise Harrison (yes, it was Louise…read that part of She Loves You, Vol. 3 in The John Lennon Series for detailed documentation) telling them that I Want to Hold Your Hand had just topped the charts in the United States. And in that jubilant instant, the tipping point was reached. Brian’s gamble to prepare for departure had paid off. The moment was right for conquest!

Journeying to America before this pinnacle had been grasped might have been disastrous. Waiting prudently for the name recognition the lads needed was vastly important. It mattered.

Mark Lapidos, too, can tell you about the importance of waiting, about the need for dotting every “i” and crossing every “t.” When Mark devised the idea of “Beatlefest,” he could have plowed ahead on the surging crest of his youthful enthusiasm. He could have moved, full speed ahead, to make his exciting idea into reality, no matter what!

But Mark didn’t. He waited.

He summoned up his courage and went to see John Lennon in person, asking for John’s blessing on the concept of the Fest. Mark wisely asked for an endorsement that would make The Fest something of which The Beatles approved and of which they would be proud. And John saw that it was good. And it was. And 40 years later, it’s even better!

So what does that say to us? To you and me – owners of sure-fire schemes? It whispers, “Wait.”

Don’t jump ahead. Plan. Seek counsel. Ask for opinions. Question everything. Move slowly.

If the Japanese Magnolias would follow Epstein’s and Lapidos’s examples, they would be lovely for months during the spring. They would enjoy a season of beauty unequaled by any other vernal tree. Instead, they spring ahead ruthlessly…and time and again, they fail.

I don’t know what you’re planning or writing or preparing or creating, but know this: If we would pay attention to detail as we plan, practice, hone, revamp, investigate, seek counsel, and keep working, we would see our dreams come true. The Beatles, Brian Epstein, and Mark Lapidos all knew that this is the way forward. Successes one and all, they could tell you:

Ladies and Gentlemen, timing is everything.

Slow down.

Jude Southerland Kessler is the author of the John Lennon Series: www.johnlennonseries.com

Jude is represented by 910 Public Relations — @910PubRel on Twitter and 910 Public Relations on Facebook.